how many times a day?
1. Sexual play doesn’t have to end in orgasm to be satisfying.
Yes, we like climaxing. And we expect to get there most of the time.
But we don’t experience what guys refer to as “blue balls”—we don’t have
nuts that can be brought to the brink of busting and then abruptly
deprived of fulfilling their orgasmic destiny—so there’s no reason to
feel bad or subhuman or inadequate if you get off before we do. Don’t
expect us to beg you to finish us off like you might want to be in the
same situation. We’re just fine curling up and falling asleep, or
getting on with our day.
2.
If you whine too much about your inability to make us orgasm once in a
while even after we explain that sex can be pleasurable regardless, we
are bound to start faking orgasms regularly. Faking an orgasm
is called for on occasion, but we like to think of it as a last resort
since it’s counterproductive to achieving future gratification by way of
rewarding ineffective tactics. We don’t want to fake it more than we
absolutely have to (for your good, and ours), so don’t make us.
3. We respect and appreciate your
willingness to service us 99.9% of the time we want to get busy, but you
can’t expect the same from us. We’re biologically programmed
and societally conditioned to be more cautious about sex in general
because we bear 100% of the physiological burden of getting pregnant and
we’re the ones dealing with all the slut shaming. Please do not cite
your “accommodating nature” as the reason why you should be able to
select from a menu of on-demand sexual services at any time. If you
avoid making this argument, we’re far more likely to have sex with you
even when we don’t want to.
4. You might think we’re in the mood a lot less often than you are, but the fact is that we function differently.
For a lot of women, desire doesn’t necessarily precede arousal. We need
to be touched, caressed, and loved in order to crave sex. So instead of
whining about how horny you are and how unlikely it seems that you’ll
get laid that night because we’re a bit mopey or whatever, sneak up
behind us and start rubbing our shoulders and work your way down to our
waist, or go in for a boob grab. The key is physical contact, so touch
us!
5. Foreplay doesn’t start twenty minutes before penetration. It
is an all-day, every day phenomenon. If you want to increase the
chances that we’ll mount you on any given night, tell us we’re sexy in
the morning as we’re getting ready for work, or send us a text midday
just to say you’re thinking about the way our ass looks when we shake it
for you.
6. Tell us we’re beautiful without exaggerating. We
know we don’t look like Gisele naked, so don’t make outrageous claims
about how hot we are. Ridiculous compliments come across as insincere,
so they’re ineffectual. We’d rather be appreciated for the way we look,
flaws and all. Tell us what turns you on about us specifically, whether
it’s something we’ve done or something we’re wearing, and avoid
comparing us to other women at all costs. Start with “I love the way
your…” or “I love it when you…”
7. We want to get weird with you.
Don’t assume you’re special for having so many depraved thoughts. We
can get there too, so clue us in to your innermost desires. The more
comfortable you are with your sexual aspirations and the more you
communicate them openly and honestly, the more likely we are to
accompany you on your dirty journey.
8. We won’t necessarily think you’re a misogynistic prick if you want to objectify us in bed.
Some of us actually want to be overpowered and/or objectified—as long
as the bedroom objectification doesn’t seep into other aspects of our
lives together. One of the staunchest feminists I know loves shouting,
“I’m a cock hungry slut!” during sex. We’re totally capable of
separating what happens during sex from the rest of our waking lives, so
give us some credit and tell us what you want before dismissing the
possibilities out there.
9. We want you to worship our vaginas just as much as you ache for us to build penis shrines.
When you act like you’re eager to go down on us it means a lot, and
your visible enthusiasm makes us a lot more psyched to reciprocate the
favor. While you’re down there, tell us you love the way our vagina
looks, smells, and tastes.
10. We’re aware that the reptilian part of your brain leads you to picture most of the hot young women you encounter naked.
Keep this to yourself, no matter how much we claim to trust that you
won’t act on those urges, or how often we assure you that we can handle
hearing about them. We don’t need to be reminded that your natural
instinct is to try to impregnate every hot breathing biped of the
opposite sex. It does not make us feel great, plain and simple.
11. At a certain point, every
woman realizes that there’s a serious downside to sleeping with hot
guys, so stop feeling intimidated by them. The men who’ve
gotten laid all their lives without putting much effort into luring a
lady into bed pale in comparison to those who’ve had to work for it over
the years. We would much rather have sex with a man who knows what he’s
doing than an inexperienced Lothario who thinks a clitoris and a g-spot
are synonymous.
12. Good-looking guys are nice to look at, but good looks won’t hold our interest for more than a few minutes, anyway. Your face and body are side dishes. The main course is how well you’re able to engage us—to make us feel like we’re the center of your universe, if only for a short stint—which requires self-awareness and self-confidence. We’ll swoon over how you hold yourself, walk, and talk—not how closely you resemble Brad Pitt
Original link:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/melanie-berliet/2015/03/what-do-women-really-think-about-sex-12-brutally-honest-dispatches-from-a-woman/
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