Infidelity is a heartbreak no one should ever have to
deal with, but when it happens, most couples are left with haunting
questions. No one situation can be placed in a tidy box of reasons, but
if you and your husband were happily married when he had an affair,
these can explain how this happened.
Your husband is
likely a great spouse. And as a great spouse, he might feel a lot of
pressure to make sure you and everyone else in the family is happy.
But deep down he could be suffering.
Is
work overwhelming? Does he feel like it's impossible for him to succeed
as a parent? Is he remembering unresolved insecurities from years ago?
If
he feels a lot of pressure to keep your family happy, he may never feel
comfortable revealing those problems, said marriage therapist Aaron Anderson.
"Instead
of being able to talk out loud about their insecurities, wants,
regrets, etc. they continue on living a life that makes them only
superficially happy," he said.
"But they have deeper desires that are going unfulfilled. It's the need
to fulfill those deeper desires and their inability to talk out loud
about them that makes them try to get them fulfilled in secrecy (e.g. by
having an affair)."
It's easier to look for something new rather than talk about expectations
Men
don't just need sex; they need emotional connection (just like women).
But unfortunately, it's usually pretty painful for a man to tell his
wife he doesn't feel appreciated, according to marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman. After all, it's not "manly" to ask for more affirmation.
He will shove those emotional disappointments to the back of his brain and deal with them later.
Ladies, that later
is scary. Those emotions will eventually surface, and if he feels more
appreciated from a different source, it could be hard for him to resist
that validation. Not being emotionally satisfied was the main reason 48
percent of men cheated, according to a study by Neuman.
Cheating makes him less vulnerable to one person
In
case you haven't sensed a theme here, emotions play a great deal more
into infidelity than we tend to think. For most men, it's super hard to express how he feels - even to himself. (See above)
But
marriage is all about being vulnerable to ONE person -- which is scary.
If he can spread out his life's intimate details between two people, he
can feel less vulnerable (and dependent) on one person.
He doesn't know how to balance love with romance
Feeling
safe, loved and like you belong is a basic human need, but humans also
crave adventure and mystery. Balancing the two in a marriage is hard,
according to couples therapist Esther Perel.
When
we feel like we belong and our relationship is reliable, routine
develops. And there is nothing more opposite of adventure than routine.
Sometimes happily married men enjoy the comfort of reliability and love
from their wife, but look somewhere else for a thrill.
He didn't mean to
More than half of cheating men
felt guilty during the affair. Sixty-eight percent of unfaithful men
said they never dreamed they would cheat on their wife. This isn't
comforting, but it does show how cautious couples need to be to prevent
accidental affairs from sneaking in. Technology makes it pretty easy to
develop an inappropriate relationship.
It's NOT about how you look
Please stop
comparing, and never belittle how beautiful you are. Your husband did
not cheat on you because he wanted someone more attractive. There is no
level of makeover you could get that would make a cheater less likely to
cheat.
And interestingly, only 12 percent of cheating men were more attracted to their mistress than to their wife, according to Neuman's study. Your beauty has nothing to do with it.
Have you ever heard
the phrase, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most
time with"? Well, it's true. Seventy-seven percent of cheating men had a
good friend who had an affair first. If a buddy your husband respects
and loves can justify an affair, your husband might start to view
affairs as less damaging than he did before.
Whatever the reason
for the affair, the most important thing to remember is that YOU are
worth loving. Don't allow your husband's mistake to make you feel
worthless. With help, healing can (and does) happen -- in time.
Original link:
https://familyshare.com/25132/marriage/why-do-happily-married-husbands-cheat
Butts are definitely having a moment, and now science might actually have an answer to why we're all about that bass.
Researchers
at Bilkent University in Turkey showed 300 men silhouettes of women's
bodies and asked to rank them in order of preference. They found that
the men were most attracted to women whose spines curved exactly 45
degrees above the top of their butts, but that the men were actually
more attracted to the spinal curve — known as vertebral wedging — than
the butts themselves. Why? The researchers say that having "extra mass
around the buttocks" enhanced the appearance of the curvature.
original link
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/news/a37405/science-big-butts/
The key to a successful marriage is unselfishness. If you
can put your spouse's needs above your own, you are on the right track.
Having the desire to fulfill your husband's needs is in no way
submitting yourself to an inferior role as a wife. If you truly love
your spouse, then you want to make him happy, and these five things
generally make men happy — simple as that.
Every man's needs are different; however, according to Willard F. Harley Jr., most men have the same basic needs. While each person is unique, these needs are what most men pick on average.
1. Recreational companionship
My husband and I are a
classic example of a couple with hardly anything in common, especially
when it comes to hobbies. We enjoy doing our own things — which can be
good in a marriage. But when we spend time together doing what he likes,
it's often a win-win. Spending the evening golfing with my husband was
never something I would have chosen, but I ended up having a great time.
In fact, it was one of the best dates I have ever been on. Show your
husband you care about him by showing some interest in his hobbies. He
may even return the favor and spend the day doing what you want to do!
2. Sexual fulfillment
This can be a touchy subject,
but it's an important one. One thing my husband and I have learned is to
never treat intimacy like a game — to never withhold it as punishment.
Doing so only intensifies feelings of negativity and resentment.
Intimacy brings couples together better than anything, and if it's
important to your husband, it needs to be important to you. Whether or
not marital intimacy is special depends on the attitude and effort of
those involved.
3. Admiration
In a healthy relationship, your
husband is doing his part — whether that's having a career, going to
school, staying home with children, etc. Most of his actions may go
unnoticed. For example, my husband works 8-10 hours a day, then spends
his evenings going to school or doing homework. You may not physically
see how much your husband does for your family every day, which can make
his efforts easier to forget — out of sight, out of mind. Remember, as
often as possible, show and tell your husband how much you love and
appreciate all he does for you.
4. Domestic support
Domestic support involves the
creation of a peaceful and well-managed home environment. You and your
husband may share household chores and other home responsibilities
equally, or your husband may need you to handle these responsibilities
more often if he is busy handling others. Again, in a healthy
relationship, your husband should be doing his part. If this is the
case, fulfill hubby's needs by cooking meals, washing dishes, keeping
your home clean, etc.
5. An attractive spouse
As a wife of almost 12
years, I know how familiar and comfortable wives can get with their
husbands — which is great. As a mother of four, I know how easy it is to
stay in my pajamas all day, how luxurious it is to wait and shower when
I actually have five minutes of privacy. Some days are like that, and
that's OK, but don't let this type of thing become a habit. Put effort
into making yourself attractive to your spouse. If you don't see your
husband until he walks in the door 30 seconds before dinnertime,
schedule a few minutes beforehand to freshen yourself up. I started
doing this a couple years ago and noticed a positive difference in my
husband's mood when he came home. Bonus: it makes me feel great, too.
Examining
these five needs is a great way to look deeper into your marriage to
determine your husband's individual needs. Whether a marriage is in
trouble or not, when spouses fulfill each other's needs, the marriage
becomes stronger.
Original link:
https://familyshare.com/20288/marriage/your-husband-has-5-basic-needs-are-you-meeting-them
Great sex involves every part of you. It happens when you let go and
give into the moment and your feelings for each other. The way that you
view yourself affects how much you let go. Whether you’re bigger or
“skinny,” your weight has an effect on your sex life.
I got married to the love of my life at 18 years old. I was average,
and our sex life was hot. As I got older and had to work jobs I hated, I
turned to food as a coping mechanism. I gained 170 pounds in five years
and hated how I looked. This negative self-image crept into our sex
life.
I didn’t want the lights to be on because I was ashamed of how big I
had gotten. I couldn’t give into the experience because, in my mind, I
was wondering if my wife was picturing herself having sex with someone
who looked better than me. I pulled away, and what once was a steamy sex
life, turned into a constant argument.
Here are five ways my weight affected my sex life — and could be hurting yours.
1. IT CAN KILL YOUR CONFIDENCE
There is nothing sexier than a confident man (or woman). Your weight
can kill your confidence if it’s not where you want it to be. Great sex
requires confidence in yourself and what you’re doing. You can’t be
confident if the only thought on your mind is a negative view of
yourself. The lack of confidence can make you feel like less of a man.
2. IT CAN DRAIN YOUR ENERGY
What you eat and how active you are (through exercise) affects your
energy levels. Everyone who reads this will have a different kind of sex
life, but all of them require energy — especially for those longer
sessions. If you are overweight or out of shape, you won’t last as long
or enjoy it as much because the energy won’t be there.
3. IT CAN AFFECT THE EXPERIENCE
If you are somewhere else in your mind and lacking confidence, the
quality of your sexual experience will be diminished. Quality sex isn’t
necessarily about the length or number of positions;
it’s about how involved you are with each other and whether or not you
can find those pleasures points. Your weight can kill the quality and
force great sex to be replaced with quickies.
4. IT CAN HURT YOUR THOUGHTS
If you are worried about what your partner is thinking, or your
thoughts are caught up in your weight, you can’t let go. Your thoughts
should be focused on who you’re with and the pleasure of the experience
can bring. Your weight can cloud the healthy thoughts that allow you to
fully enjoy sex.
5. IT CAN MAKE YOUR SEX LIFE HOT
If you are making healthy food choices and exercise regularly, you
are in a good position. You can come into the bedroom and use that
energy to give into your animal urges. Let go and be there in that
moment of pleasure. Enter the bedroom with confidence and leave
exhausted.
Over a two-year period, I was able to lose 170 pounds and get to my
ideal weight. As the weight came off, my confidence returned. My energy
levels grew as I exercised and made healthy food choices. I felt good
about myself, and that allowed me to relax in the bedroom. Today, our
sex life is even better than back then.
If you struggle with your weight, take the journey to change one day
at a time. When you think about the enormity of any change, it feels
impossible. When you break it down, you work on it a little bit at a
time. Focus on creating healthy habits in your life. Don’t let your
health keep you from enjoying one of life’s greatest pleasures.
Original link:
http://ghnews360.com/How-your-weight-affects-your-sex-life-17509
Here is the list of 10 things that cheating men have...
1. He doesn't respect his own mother
According to Dr. Carole Lieberman,
author of "Bad Boys: Why We Love Them, How to Live with Them and When
to Leave Them," a woman should carefully observe how her husband (or
future husband) treats his mother. If he is disrespectful to her, he is
more likely to be disrespectful to you.
2. He is a self-centered narcissist
Watch out for
men who are self-centered, narcissistic and have no empathy. Men who
see women as objects and are more likely to cheat. Stay away from them.
Don't try to change them, or convince yourself that he needs you,
because he is not going to change. (He doesn't want to.)
3. He feels powerful
A study
conducted at the University of Tilburg in the Netherlands shows that
powerful people are more likely to have an affair. However, Dr. Joris
Lammers reports
that the relationship between power and confidence is greater than the
relationship between power and infidelity. The best way to keep a man
faithful is by building up his confidence, but not letting power get to
his head.
4. He has low self-esteem
If he constantly
worries about getting older, losing his hair or being fired, his
self-esteem is probably tanking. He might try to fix things by having an
affair in order to help him feel more like a man. The best way help him
is to avoid comparing his successes to another person's, and encourage
him to fulfill his goals.
5. He gives in to his vices
Men who drink heavily
or use drugs tend to have no limits and believe that they can do
whatever they want -- even cheat. Avoid these types.
6. He suddenly gets very critical
If he never
cared about your weight or how you clean the house, then suddenly
everything you do makes him irate, then that is a good sign that
something is wrong. If he constantly criticizes and belittles you, he is
probably trying to manipulate you in order to divert attention from his
bad behavior. Try to figure out if it's stress or depression before
jumping to conclusions.
7. He flirts with everyone
If he loves charming
every girl that falls in his path -- your mom, sisters, friends, etc. --
to the point that you think anyone would melt for him, it's most likely
happening. Make it clear that you will leave the relationship if he
doesn't do his part. Men can still be charming without being unfaithful,
but they need to be careful.
8. He suffers from forgetfulness
Does he forget
your birthday, favorite restaurants and tastes? Does he forget his
promises? (For example, taking you out to the movies on a Friday night.)
If he pretends to forget his mistake to confuse you and mixes up your
likes and dislikes with other people, that is not a good sign.
9. He is more aloof
If he hides when someone
calls, or he doesn't answer calls when you're around, there is room for
concern. If he changes his password frequently and "forgets" his phone
in the car or at work, those are also clues. Most women who have been
betrayed report that they say these signs, but they ignored them. Do not
neglect your instincts.
10. Intimacy changes
If he is less affectionate,
but still wants to make love, your intimacy is no longer the same. If
you have concerns, talk to him about it. Tell him that you want to be
more affectionate. Tell him that you think he's changed, and ask if
there is something wrong. If he denies that he has changes, be wary.
Something may be going on.
Source:
https://familyshare.com/20859/marriage/10-things-that-cheating-men-having-in-common
Uhusiano
wa Wema Sepetu na Idris Sultan unaanza kutukumbusha ule wa Chris Brown
na Karrueche Tran ule wazungu wanauiita ‘off and on.’
Baada ya hivi karibuni kuzinguana tena hadi kumfanya Idris ajiondoe
Instagram hadi sasa, wawili hao wanaonesha kuanza kutafuta suluhu.
Wema amepost picha hiyo juu Instagram inayoonesha walikuwa wakiwasiliana kutumia app ya Facetime, aliandika: That moment you realise how much u miss a special someone… Rudi basi… hata kidogo tu… 😔
Wawili hao waliingia kwenye mgogoro baada ya Wema kuisusia show ya
Idris, Funny Fellas kwa mara nyingine tena huku mshindi huyo wa Big
Brother akihudhuria za mpenziwe, ikiwemo Black and Tie iliyofanyika
mwezi uliopita.
Baada ya kuchoshwa na tabia ya mpenzi wake kutompa support kwenye show
zake, Idris naye aliamua kuipotezea show ya Usiku wa Vigoma
iliyoandaliwa na Sepetunga mwishoni mwa wiki – na hapo ndipo mambo
yalipoharibika.
Mashabiki wa Wema walikasirika baada ya shemeji yao kuikwepa show hiyo
na wanamshambulia Instagram. Kutokana na kuandamwa, Idris amelazimika
kuongea:
Sipendi kuona watu wakiingia na kuongea kama wanajua maisha yangu na
watu wangu wa karibu, makosa wakifanya wengine mnakuja kwangu mnaanza
“Ndio asingefanya vile kama sio wewe kufanya hivi” mnakazana kusema eti
naposti wanawake mara ooo porojo kibao. Sina freedom ya kumpost dada
angu ? Kweli ? Au rafiki yangu kazindua brand mpya siwezi mpost
nikampongeza? Mnauliza kwanini sijaenda vigoma nimesema because show yangu hakuja
hata moja na nimeenda show zake zote na yeye halalamiki because anajua
nimesema siendi fair enough mbona hamjaongelea hilo? I repeat nikikaa
kimya is for a pure reason that it’s not anyones business this is my
personal life kama mnaongeleaga fair basi mngefanya kuuliza kwanini
mpaka am selling out hajaja. “Give me a break sina maisha ya kuigiza lets have respect for each
other bana. Na nimesema msiniite shemeji for one big good reason, imekua
too much i am a brand na jina idris linamezwa na shem, ningejua this
from the beginning nisingeruhusu mniite tangu mwanzo so msiwe kila kitu
mnafikiria negative tu. Na sikuwa na haja ya kuandika yote haya pia
TusichukulianePoa.
Hata hivyo Wema naye alimpigilia msumari wa moto Idris kwa kupost picha
ya wanaume anaowapenda #MCM (Man Crush Monday) na mmoja wao ni Diamond.
Chanzo:
http://www.udakuspecially.com/2016/08/wema-sepetu-ampigia-magoti-idris-sultan.html
Idrsis na wema
Mtandaoni wa Tizneez ametoa exclusive ya kwanini Msanii Ruby hakuonekana
Mwanza wala kupanda katika jukwaa la Fiesta wakati alikuwa mmoja wa
wasanii waliosajiliwa...
Hivi Ndivyo mtandao huo ulivyoandika
Exclusive Ruby Amezungumza mengi ila kati ya machache ni "Maslahi
yamenifanya nisiende kwenye Fiesta, Kisa ni Clouds ndio nisiwe free na
kuongea, end of the day it's not about clouds it's about my
future.Katika shindano la super diva ilikuwa super diva mshindi atafanya
Fiesta, wakati umefika lakini ntafanya Fiesta for nothing? Mimi sitaki
kuongelea price ambayo naipata sababu nahisi nikiongea sijui watu
watajiskiaje ukubwa wa show ulivyo. ...Tunakuwa na menejiment ambazo
zinaendesha wasanii kimabavu, unadhani kwanini @jidejaydee wanamuita
komando??
JE Mdau Unaona Huo Ndio Mwisho wa Ruby ? Au Clouds FM ndio wanamakosa... ?
Kwanza migogoro ilianza na Mkubwa na Wanawe , Sasa imegeuka kwa Clouds
FM ambao ndio waliomtoa na kumkuza mpaka hapo alipo sasa....
Chanzo:
http://www.udakuspecially.com/2016/08/msanii-ruby-na-clouds-fm.html
Kuanzia Jumatatu wiki ijayo hakutakuwa na usafiri wa mabasi nchi nzima,
baada ya Wamiliki wa mabasi yaendayo mikoani (Taboa) kuamua kusimamisha
huduma hiyo ili yafanyiwe ukaguzi na Polisi.
Katibu Mkuu wa Taboa, Enea Mrutu amesema zaidi ya mabasi 4,000
yanayohudumia safari za mikoani, yatasimamisha huduma kuruhusu ukaguzi
uliolenga kupunguza ajali za barabarani na kwamba, wameshaiandikia
Sumatra barua kuitaarifu juu ya suala hilo.
“Tunataka mabasi yetu yakaguliwe kwa pamoja ili mamlaka husika
zithibitishe ubora na kama yanaweza kuendelea kutoa huduma za usafiri
bila wasiwasi wowote,” amesema.
If you answer yes to these questions or deep down your gut is telling you something is just not right, please do NOT marry that man. These red flags will help you know if you're in the wrong relationship.
1. Is he rude to his parents?
How he treats his
parents (and the rest of the family) indicates how he will eventually
treat you. Does he expect his mom to baby him? Does he talk back to his
dad? Expect the same treatment in a few years.
2. Has he ever made you feel silly because of your beliefs or values?
Love
is being able to completely be yourself around someone. If he has ever
belittled you because of your faith, morals or even political views, he
doesn't respect you. He doesn't have to agree with all your beliefs, but
he absolutely needs to respect them.
3. Has he ever cheated?
Anyone who has cheated before is 3.5 times more likely to cheat again, according to a study
by a University of Denver grad student. No matter if he cheated on you,
with you or before you were ever in the picture, an unfaithful history
is a serious red flag.
4. Would he be upset if you looked at his phone?
You
shouldn't obsessively search through his texts and Facebook messages,
but you both should be living an honest and open life with each other.
Would you be upset if he searched your phone? Would he be upset if you
did the same to his? If the answer is yes to either of those questions,
your relationship isn't ready for marriage.
5. Has he ever screamed at you?
Abuse comes in several forms. Screaming is destructive. A man worth marrying wouldn't degrade his sweetheart that way.
6. Do you feel like you aren't good enough when you're around him?
A
healthy relationship should inspire you to be better, but it shouldn't
make you feel like you aren't enough right now. It may come from things
he says or maybe just from your own self-perception, but you don't want
to feel this way for the rest of your life.
7. Has he ever touched you in any way that hurt you or made you feel uncomfortable?
Don't believe marriage will change him: It won't. Abuse is NEVER acceptable. Run away as fast as you can.
8. Are you the one who must apologize first?
It's
great for you to be willing to apologize, but if he's incapable of
saying sorry, he will be a man miserable to be married to.
9. Does he give you the silent treatment when he's upset?
As
a grown adult, he should be able to handle frustration maturely. It's
more likely for men to remove themselves from conflict so they can think
things over before they speak, but if he never returns to talk through
things and won't deal with the problems like a grown up, he's not mature
enough to get married.
10. Are you nervous about a future with him?
Sometimes
the excitement of marriage can cloud your thinking. At the end of the
day, you should be most excited for knowing you'll have a life-long
relationship with him. He should make life seem more exciting.
11. Do you frequently think about breaking up?
Your
gut-feeling doesn't get enough credit sometimes. If you worry about the
relationship or think about breaking up more often than you enjoy the
relationship, your intuition is probably trying to tell you that this
isn't quite right.
12. Has he ever been so angry it frightened you?
Your
man most likely deals with anger differently than you. That's normal.
But it's not OK for him to fly off the handle. Have you ever wondered if
he'll completely lose control? If your answer is yes, please leave the
relationship now. Marriage will only make it worse (and harder to
leave).
13. Does he regularly ask you to skip out on family events?
One
of the major signs of someone who will be controlling is them isolating
you from your friends and family. If he pressures you to cut yourself
off from them for "love," you are in dangerous territory.
14. Does he constantly DEMAND to know where you are?
Relationships
require a great deal of trust. Yes, you should be able to be honest
about anything with your boyfriend and vice versa. But if he demands to
know where you are, what you are doing and who you are with at ALL
times, he's frighteningly controlling.
15. Do your family members or closest friends dislike him?
These
people love and know you. Love can be blind. If people close to you
don't like your partner, listen to them. They might be able to see
horrifying things that you can't.
16. Does he NEED you or else he'll be miserable?
It
might seem romantic that, if he can't have you, he can't go on living.
It's the Romeo and Juliet mentality. But you cannot be responsible for
someone's happiness. If your significant other doesn't know how to be
happy on their own, they will eventually not be happy even with you. No
one can handle that heavy responsibility.
Remember, as painful as
it is to break up, dealing with divorce years later will be much, much
worse. No one is perfect, but certain things are never OK in marriage.
These questions can help you avoid a world of hurt in the future.
Scientist
from the University of Oxford and Churchill Hospital in the United
Kingdom have discovered that women with larger than average butts are
not only increasingly intelligent, but also resistant to chronic
illnesses, Elite Daily reported.
The results found that people who carry their body fat in their
thighs and backsides aren't just carrying extra weight, but also some
extra protection against diabetes, heart disease and other conditions
associated with obesity.
ADVERTISEMENT
"It is the protective role of lower body, that is [thigh and
backside] fat, that is striking," the researchers said in a statement.
"The protective properties of the lower body fat depot have been
confirmed in many studies conducted in subjects with a wide range of
age, BMI and co-morbidities."
According to ABC News, the
results found women with bigger backsides tend to have lower levels of
cholesterol and are more likely to produce hormones to metabolize
sugar. Having
a big butt requires an excess of Omega 3 fats, which have been proven
to catalyze brain development, Elite Daily reported.
Researchers also found the children born to women with wider hips are
intellectually superior to the children of slimmer, less curvy mothers.
Researchers analyzed and compared female belly fat with the legs,
hips and buttocks, finding that the fat from the lower body of women
prevents the development of diabetes, thanks to the quantity and type
containing hormones, Eyeonthenut reported.
"If you're going to have fat, you're definitely better off if you've
got some fat in the lower body," Dr. Michael Jensen, director of
endocrine research at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. told ABC News.
"If you look at people who have primarily the pear shape, they're
healthy in all the ways that this fat behaves. It's not just less heart
attacks or less diabetes, it's all these ways we think about fat as an
important organ for our health."
The fat located in the thigh and backside produce hormones that help
to better metabolize sugars and other lipids, abdominal fat secretes
hormones with the opposite effect.
Original link:
http://www.universityherald.com/articles/5306/20131031/women-with-big-butts-are-smarter-and-resistant-to-chronic-illnesses.htm
Oliver Wendell Holmes once wrote, “The sound of a kiss is not so loud
as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer.”
That being said, women (and men too) tend to hold on to the memory of a
kiss for a lifetime. Plus, a single kiss has the power to make or break
a connection.
According to Sheril Kirshenbaum, the author of “The Science of
Kissing,” an amazing kiss “quickens our pulse and dilates our pupils,
which is the reason so many of us close our eyes. Our brains receive
more oxygen than normal… our checks flush… but that’s only the
beginning.”
On the other hand, a horrid kiss can send the moment into a deal breaking spiral.
In order to help men around the globe (and women, you can definitely
benefit from this as well), we’ve done a bit of research and found which
kissing styles are a complete turn-off. The above slideshow includes
them all — and if you want some extra explanation, check out the
following:
1. Too Much Tongue
One of the biggest things is to not use too much tongue or too much
force. You know what these are? Deal breakers. Too much tongue makes us
want to throw up.
2. Nothing But Pecks
On the contrary, it’s a bit boring if you never use your tongue.
Getting pecked over and over again, without any deepening of the kiss,
gets extremely annoying.
3. Suffocating Smooches
Have you ever kissed someone who never seemed to want to come up for
air? Great kisses are supposed to leave you breathless, but we don’t
think that implies feeling as if we are drowning.
4. Porn Tongue
Yeah, don’t do that. Remember that the majority of porn is made to turn
men on. If you’re not sure how to use your tongue, ask what she wants.
Let her show you, rather than assuming she wants to recreate the porn
scene you’ve seen 100 times.
5. Dead Fish Lips
This is where the person just opens their mouth like a fish and does
nothing else: no tongue, no lip pressure or movement–nothing. So boring
and so gross. One episode of dead fish lips, and you’re likely to lose
your hot catch forever.
6. The Vacuum
Think of having a hand-held vacuum and sticking your lips on it. This
kind of kiss feels like the person is trying to suck out all the air
from your mouth. Totally not sexy, not sensual, just plain horrible.
7. The Biter
Sure, the occasional lip bite may be sexy, but if it feels like you’re
trying to eat our face, we won’t be leaning in for any more kisses.
8. The Lizard
You’ve probably come across this one in your lifetime. It’s where the
person’s tongue shoots in and out of your mouth rapidly, like a lizard
searching for food.
9. Too Wet
You know that feeling when spit is left all over your mouth after you
kiss someone? When you have to wipe off your mouth and chin afterwards?
It seriously feels as if we just stood in front of a sprinkler. And
fellas, that’s not the kind of wet we’re looking for.
10. Sloppy Kiss
Kisses that are sloppy are pretty self-explanatory. You know what we
mean, right? Focus and slowness is the key! We don’t like when you try
to fit the entire bottom half of our face into your mouth. Sloppy kisses
give us the shivers.
You and your partner don’t have any financial secrets, do you?
There’s the joint bank account, the Christmas savings fund and the big jar in the front room where you chuck your lose change.
Well, we don’t want to worry you or anything, but it seems your beloved might be hiding a guilty secret...
For,
according to a new survey, one in ten of us has a secret “escape fund” -
a stash of cash hidden away from our partner in case we want to cut and
run.
The Money Advice Service discovered 11% of men and 8% of
women have saved up dosh to help them flee a failing relationship. And
the average amount in these get-out accounts is a whopping £7,500!
Makes you think, doesn’t it? If we can keep THAT secret, what else do we hide from our other halves?
TIL DEAF DO US PART
Men
only listen to their partners for six minutes before tuning out – but
will pay attention to their mates for a quarter of an hour (and more if
they’re chatting about footy!)
Women have long suspected they are
much better listeners but a survey of 2,000 men by Ladbrokes last year
revealed how easily they switch off.
The average bloke admits to
four occasions a week when he isn’t listening to his partner, but should
be, and that he’s most likely to tune out if she’s talking about
workmates, people the’ve never met or celebs and reality stars.
Women
know though! 55% say they regularly test their partner to double check
he’s listening... by the time he takes to respond to a question or the
blank look in his eyes.
EX-AGGERATION
Men and women both
fib about the number of previous sexual partners they have had... but
women divide their number by three while men multiply it.
A survey for MyCelebrityFashion.co.uk discovered 52% of women had played down their past conquests with 78% believing it would make them more desirable.
And 38% of men and women admit they’ve lied about the real reasons they split from their exes.
NOT COMING CLEAN
Lazy men have admitted deliberately messing up household chores so their partners don’t ask them to do it again.
Researchers
found three in ten blokes regularly do a bad job of the washing up or
cleaning in the hope their other half will tell them not to bother
again. They admitted to squirting a bit of bleach down the toilet
instead of cleaning it properly, leaving smears on mirrors and dusting
around objects instead of moving them.
And it seems to be working!
Bathroom retailer Victoria Plumb,
who carried out the survey, discovered two thirds of women don’t trust
their partner to do the cleaning, with 60% saying it was easier to do it
themselves.
BARE FACED CHEATS
One in 20 women admit they’ve never let their partners see them without a full-face of make-up.
According
to a QVS Beauty Tools survey 40% say they deliberately hide their daily
beauty regimes while 30% don’t tell their other halves they use fake
tan or have hair extensions.
And a quarter of women said they
would be “mortified” if their partner caught them waxing their bikini
line or plucking nasal hair.
But that’s fine by the fellas. Seven
out of ten would rather not know what goes on behind the bathroom door
and just one in 10 said they’d be shocked to learn that their other half
wore suck-in pants or fake tan.
BOTTOM LINE
“Does my bum look big in this, darling?”
One
in ten men admit they’ve thought “Yes”, but smiled and said “Of course
not,” for fear of upsetting their partner and ruining their weekend.
In a survey commissioned by clothing retailer very.co.uk
70% of men said they were scared of answering the question honestly and
a quarter had lied about how their partner looked in an outfit just so
they wouldn’t have to continue shopping.
A fifth of men also feared a negative comment would never be forgotten and “used against them at a later date.”
MIrrorpix
BREAK AWAY
A third of women admit they feel LESS
attracted to their partners after a holiday abroad and one in six would
rather travel with a relative. Sunshine.co.uk polled 2,364 women who recently returned from couples break and discovered the romantic holiday became a passion killer.
Sunburn
and heat stroke put them off romping while 35% said spending too much
time together got on their nerves. Another quarter said their man drank
too much and 19% was upset because their partner was ogling other women!
WOULD YOU CREDIT IT?
One
in ten people admit separating or divorcing a partner over hidden
credit card sprees. Another one in ten say secret credit card spending
has caused arguments in their relationships while 15% confess to lying
to their significant other about the amount they put on plastic.
A survey of 1,000 people by Moneysupermarket.com
showed 36% of those had lied because they knew their partner would be
angry, and that women have much guiltier consciences and are 60% more
likely to hide a statement from their other half.
Getty
FAKING IT
More than a quarter of women admit to faking orgasm every time they have sex.
In 2012 the same worldwide survey found a third of men had faked at least once and 40% were dissatisfied with their sex lives.
It
also revealed that weight gain was a major issue in how people felt
about their partners – with half of men saying they’d dump a partner who
got fat while 67% of women would stay with their chubby other half.
And women are twice as likely to discuss their sexual preferences with their mates as they are to tell their partners.
On
a girls’ night out 34% will gossip about what they get up to in the
bedroom, but only 16% share sex talk with their men, even on a “date
night.”
Rex
SNEAKY SNACKERS
More than a quarter of women admit
to regularly eating in secret and 55% keep their chomping hidden from
husbands and boyfriends.
A poll of 2,000 women by weight loss
firm LighterLife found six in ten women sneakily eat foods they know
they shouldn’t and 23% hide food wrappers and bury‘evidence’ in the bin.
E-MALES
One in five men have a secret email account
they use to hide correspondence from their partner. Two thirds of all
men choose not to share their passwords with their other half and 23%
admit to being secretive about what’s stored on their phone and PC.
More than one in twenty men also admit the have been dumped because of what their partner found on their mobile phone.
A
poll by an internet security firm found 20% of men who keep emails
hush-hush said there were certain aspects of their life their spouse
just didn’t need to know about.
On top of that one quarter of men said they would be left red faced if someone went through their ‘Google’ history.
Original link:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/relationships/revealed-secrets-your-half-keeps-5119015
The
woman you sleep with gazes into your eyes and tells you she loves you.
And you believe her. You can tell by the way she looks at you, the way
she holds you, the way she seems to always know what you want before you
do.
There are a few of things in life you just know, and how much you
love this naked woman is one of them. But there are a lot of things you don't know.
A woman may give you her body and her heart, but there are parts that
she’ll never give up. Pieces woven into the very fiber of her being.
Mysteries only hinted at in a passing sly smile....
11. She has discovered your porn stash and your frequently visited porn sites.
And she thinks the things that turn you on are hilarious. (Like these Strange Categories of Internet Porn.)
12. When she says, "I'm ready," she'll need exactly 7 more minutes to get ready.
Don’t try to cheat the system by showing up 7 minutes later; She will still need an extra 7 minutes.
13. When she says, "I'll meet you in 15 minutes," she means she will leave in 15 minutes.
And thus, she won’t actually arrive for at least 30 (but probably more like 40).
14. You’ve made her cry more times than you’ll ever know.
15. She obsesses about when you’re going to call her again.
The period of time between your first date and your “Thanks for a
great night; when can I see you again?” always seems stretched into slow
motion.
So don’t worry about looking too eager. Call. Even if you only wait
until noon the day after, it will feel like a lifetime to her.
And don’t send her an email or text unless you want her to put you in the figurative trash can along with your message.
17. At the beginning of your relationship, she saves all of
your voice mails and listens to them (and make her friends listen, too),
repeatedly.
18. She might wear granny underwear and purposely not shave her legs because she likes you.
As crazy as it sounds, the more she likes you, the less likely she is
to sleep with you on an early date, because she doesn’t want to
sabotage having a "proper" relationship with you.
So she just might purposely hunt out the ugliest underwear in her
drawer and not shave her legs—all to prevent herself from getting naked
with you too soon.
Sometimes she might get a little tipsy or carried away, and this plan will backfire.
19. She split the cost of her fashion purchases over two or more credit cards.
So you don't notice the gargantuan deficit.
20. She's constantly testing you.
She observes, analyzes, and judges every action, word, gesture, email, and facial expression.
When she asks you if you want to have a threesome, she doesn’t mean
it. If you want her to speak to you again, let alone sleep with you
after this conversation, the answer should always be, “Why would I want
to sleep with another woman when I have you?”
{C}
21. She checks out your butt every time you leave the room.
(Make sure she likes what she sees. Learn how to Build a Butt Woman Will Want to Grab.)
22. She needs constant indications that you want her around.
That's why it’s better, for example, to say, “I want you to come away
with me for the weekend. Could you come with me?” than to ask, “What
are you up to this weekend?”
23. She loves it when you get a little jealous.
So if you ever see her flirting in front of you with the waiter, the
bus driver, or another guy at a party, know she's actually flirting with
you—through him.
24. Even though she may complain that she doesn’t see you
enough (or that you work too hard), she finds nothing sexier than
watching you put on a suit in the morning and rush off to work.
25. She starts fights with you because she's feeling ignored.
She's trying to force emotion out of you. Don’t retreat into your
cave; just give her what she wants: some attention. And never tell her
to “calm down,” unless you want to guarantee that she absolutely won’t.
26. Even if she insists on paying or splitting the bill on your first date, she’ll think you're cheap if you let her.
(For more smart money moves, see the 7 Financial Habits of Highly Laid Men.)
27. She may find your best friend repulsive, but she's fantasized about sleeping with him.
Not because she wants him, but because she wants a piece of a guy who is so close to you.
28. If she's going to break up with you, all of her friends know way before you do.
She's been talking about it for 2 weeks.
29. When you and her do break up, she'll put all photographs
of you and mementos of your relationship in a shoe box and store it in
her closet.
Just in case she gets nostalgic. Just in case you come back.
30. She wants you to take control in bed.
Yes, she has a successful career, she's financially independent, she
lives on her own, and she doesn’t need a man to make her happy (in
theory). She still wants you to pick her up, carry her to the bedroom,
and take without asking.
Original link:
http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/30-secrets-every-woman-keeps-from-her-man
As you may have noticed, February is slowly creeping
around the corner and with it will invariably come with all of the
hearts, flowers, diamonds, and Lexus’s that the universe has decided
everyone needs to demonstrate their true, undying love.
A holiday that has its roots in sacrifice, martyrdom, and
Catholicism, Valentine’s Day has come to mean so much more and at the
same time, so much less to couples across the world. The men in our
lives begin to sweat at the thought of planning out a night as magical
as the commercials tell them we want, so we have put together a few
points for ladies to keep in mind as Valentine’s Day fast approaches.
1. Men hate being told what to do.
If you ask most typical guys, they will tell you that one of the
worst aspects of Valentine’s Day is that they are being forced into
romance by a date on the calendar. It’s (probably) not that he doesn’t
treasure you like the rare gem that you are, it’s that he wants to feel
free to express his love at the exact moment he feels like it and not
just because tradition has dictated February 14th.
2. Your boyfriend/husband/soulmate feels like you have very high expectations and they don’t want to let you down.
If you ask Pinterest, Facebook or any site geared towards women what
is supposed to happen on Valentine’s Day, you will receive a very
idealistic and usually very costly answer.
Women have somehow decided that the day that used to be devoted to
handmade cards and sweets is now the day for marriage proposals,
heart-shaped food and rose petals on everything. And the sad truth of
that is most average human men just don’t have enough hours logged on to
these websites to even have a glimmer of a chance at making your
rose-scented dreams come true.
Does that mean he doesn’t love you? Of course not! It means that he
was really busy being a guy and forgot to do an internet search for “25
Things that MUST Be Heart-Shaped on Valentine’s Day (or else).”
3. Sometimes having a date in the middle of the week is complicated.
Since Valentine’s Day falls on the 14th every year, it will always
land on a different day of the week. That’s a given, right? Well, most
couples have busy schedules these days and fitting in a date night on a
work night can really throw a wrench in a good system.
Typically, men are creatures of habit and take their work/play
schedules very seriously. They want you to feel pampered and
appreciated, but there is a chance that every year on February 14th they
won’t have the kind of time required to fill your car with “I Love You”
balloons and hand-write you a sonnet detailing their affections.
Life just doesn’t work out that way sometimes. You may have to compromise and go out on the 13th or the 15th instead.
4. Blatant displays of affection just may not be his thing.
You have probably come to understand over the years that men and
women have certain differences. I’m not talking physical differences,
but, obviously, if you don’t know about those, you may be in for a very
interesting Valentine’s Day. If a women likes something, she will stand
on the top of a mountain, shout about it, proclaim it hers and then
proceed to protect it like an angry pirate looks after his booty.
Men, on the other hand, aren’t usually the ones to go hollering on
top of mountains, unless deer is in season and there is a cooler of beer
involved. A man will show a woman that he loves her in a million tiny
ways, each and every day. It will be different for every couple, but
there will always be evidence, provided love is there.
Does he carry in the groceries or take out the trash? Does he shower
before your mom comes over or lock the door before you go to bed at
night? Does he listen to your long, overly dramatic portrayal of your
day chaperoning the school field trip to the zoo? I hate to trivialize
it, but that’s love for a lot of men and all of that mushy, romantic
stuff is just for show.
5. If he forgets, its not that he doesn’t care.
There is a horrible stereotype hovering over guys these days. On
holidays, it is usually the guy running around to convenience stores at
the very last minute, desperately trying to find the last card, rose
petal, box of overpriced chocolate or trinket that proves they hadn’t
forgotten the occasion that completely slipped their mind.
According to this tragic story, men are short-sighted, self-absorbed
and ignorant of all holidays, personal or national. Is this guy out
there? Probably, but hopefully no one has lost enough of her
self-respect to consider him as a life partner.
Do guys forget holidays? Of course. But, women do, too. And if you
are the recipient of a scribbled on card at 10 PM or a box of Rite Aid’s
finest assortment of Russell Stover’s finest balls of chocolate-covered
goop, it’s not because he forgot about you. It’s most likely because
men are extremely efficient at compartmentalizing their lives. While a
women goes through her days stringing things together, a man will
concentrate on one task at a time.
After the tasks of his day have been completed, he will (hopefully)
remember and there is a chance that he will remember a little bit too
late. While a woman will incorporate doting on the man of her dreams into everything she does, a man will think about his special lady when he has time to do so.
Original link:
http://obsessiondesire.com/5-things-men-want-women-to-know-about-valentines-day/
Recently, on a Sunday evening walk around our
neighborhood, my friend and I were catching up on each other's lives.
It's our routine get-together where we share information about our
families, our current relationships or in some cases non-existent
relationships. You know, girl talk.
This Sunday our conversation was centered on this one question, "Why do men take advantage of some women?"
Sounds
like a horrible question, right? It is an awful thing, but it is,
unfortunately, a reality many women face every day. Emotional
imbalances, poor communication and a fear of walking away can lead women
to stay or fall into relationships where their interests and actions
are easily taken advantage of.
Though this list does not comprise
all the ways women set themselves up to be taken advantage of, below are
five common things women do.
(As a caveat, I do not raise this
question in a sexual or physical sense; instead, I propose this question
in an emotional sense. Although this article is directed to women, men
can experience several of these things as well.)
1. Desire to please others
Women who are
consistently taken advantage of in relationships are often kindhearted
individuals looking to please everyone. Their obvious desire to make
everyone happy and feel appreciated is often seen as a weakness or a
soft spot. Your vulnerability is taken as weakness and men often
capitalize on this trait to bend your relationship to his benefit.
2. Belief you do not deserve anything better
Strength
comes from a woman that knows what she deserves and is not willing to
settle for anything less than the best. Settling in a relationship that
does not have your best interest at heart sets you up for inevitable
trials down the road.
3. Comfort zone is your only zone
Beware of
settling into a relationship that is toxic. Do not allow a relationship
teeming with unsettled feelings and anxiety begin to feel like your
comfort zone. As the time increases and you become more aware of the
needs of your partner, do not allow the ease of having a daily routine
scare you from breaking free and discovering better opportunities for
yourself.
4. Believe a relationship has a scorecard
When
women believe a relationship has a scorecard, they are more easily taken
advantage of. True love should encourage you to do things for the other
person out of want, not out of need. Scorecards that dictate, "You
should do this for me, because I did this for you," are not healthy and
create unhealthy expectations.
5. Take passive-aggressive comments lightly
Passive
aggressive comments are not to be taken lightly or tolerated in any
relationship. Their subtle jabs at your self-confidence can harm your
view of your own self-worth and belittle you over time.
"Most
chronically passive-aggressive individuals have four common
characteristics: They're unreasonable to deal with, they're
uncomfortable to experience, they rarely express their hostility
directly and they repeat their subterfuge behavior over time," said psychologist Preston Ni.
Beware
of allowing passive-aggressive behaviors to leak into your
relationships and remain a toxic cloud ever looming over both of your
heads.
We asked the hard question, "Why do men take advantage of some women?"
The
answer is messy and undeniably complicated on all levels. But if there
is one thing I hope you take away from this article, I hope it is this:
Never allow anyone to take advantage of you or dictate your own
happiness. You have it in you to change the world you live in.
Original link:
https://familyshare.com/25652/growth/5-ways-women-set-themselves-up-to-be-taken-advantage-of
